So several months ago I wrote a post about my job.  About the pain and heartache, and joy and successes I have seen but in the end I deleted it. Not because it was not true, but because it was.  I had made it too personal.
 I read somewhere that Arizona put more children per capita into the foster system than any other state.  I have not been able to verify that, but the DES web site lists the number of kids placed in out of home care as 14,111 children due to neglect, abuse or abandonment.  I am a part of the behavioral health system in Arizona.  We get the kids that are on AHCCCS  (Arizona's version of medicare) and are considered to have high behavior problems.  We work to keep kids out of residential treatment centers, with their families and/or connected to the community.  We provide direct support services which means kids have something like a mentor that spends time with them teaching them coping, communication and social skills.  Many are CPS kids.  Kids who have experienced trauma and terrific loss. Many are a part of that 14,111. They have big behaviors. The need is so great.  The work is never done.   I found out if you can't find some way to remain objective you will not last in social or behavioral services.   I dove into this job and  approaching two years later, am just now coming up for air.  Honestly, I almost drowned.  Compassion overload.  Burnout.  What ever name you want to call it.  I had it.  But I had wise people tell me to turn off my phone, rediscover hobbies that I like, connect with family and friends deeply.  Take vacations.  I am learning to set limits and boundaries for myself.  I am still learning how to take care of myself.  I can't take care of all of the kids, but I can be a part of a team that is really helping a few! I can advocate for them.  I can tell kids that tomorrow is going to be a better day and help them connect with family or friends that will carry them beyond being a system kid with behavioral problems.  I can open my heart to their stories and trust in a God that loves them more than I do.  I can pray for my employees and I to stay strong and positive, I can pray for the kids and their families and friends to heal and overcome, and I can thank God for all of the blessings I have in Him.

While trying to get accurate numbers for this post I went to foster care site that had profiles of kids on it, waiting for adoption.  I found one of the kids I work with.  The profile is two years old and that young person is still waiting.  This week I will go and see this young person again, give a hug, talk with them, hopefully give that teenager some hope for that day.

Thanks for reading.  It felt good to do the writing!