Long Time Coming

Should you write in a blog every day? What if the blog is about learning a new life following the death of a spouse? Do you write down only happy moments, or sad moments? Do dig into the nitty gritty of grief or do you skim the surface. To be honest with you I am not sure. It has been a long time since my last entry. I have done some interesting things and I have let my mind think some interesting thoughts. I sent Christmas cards. Well most are sent. I still have a few. I made a list of projects that would keep me busy while I am at home. I am doing some of them. I took the advice of friends and mixed up my holidays. I went to Colorado for Thanksgiving and I had 15 young people at my house for Christmas dinner. I have started to journal-absolutely no deep thoughts yet. I feel like a middle school girl recording "what happened today". I had to confront my nightmares. My son, who is home from school told me that he could hear me crying and moaning in the kitchen while I was sleeping. Not a good sign! My daughter then confirmed it and said it has been going on for a while. Okay, now what? Hopefully the journaling will help. I also am trying to remember my dreams and then talk about them with God. I finally got a retainer like device to keep me from grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw! Thank you Dr. Bob! No more headaches. Jim, my brother in law has Jeff's Jeep and soon one of the other brother in laws, John, will have the VW. Yeah!
Thank you friends for your love and your laughter and your friendship. If you have insight into my questions or the nightmares...let me know. Love-GJ

September 13, 2009 Afternoon

Jeff went home to be with the Lord at about 3:45. It was very peaceful. I was sitting right next to him. Our friends were here and we are rejoicing for him. I know the reality of all this will hit me like a ton of bricks later. We are planning on having a memorial service on Saturday. I will post more details when I have them. Thank you all for praying him safely home.

September 13, 2009 Early Morning

Today is Sunday Sept. 13. Jeff is unconscious, barely breathing and has a rapid but weak heartbeat. This morning he opened one of his eyes a couple of times and we were all able to tell him that we love him. His hands are blue and his pallor is grey. My next post will be to shout that he is healed and in the arms of our Savior. He is surrounded by friends and family. Betty Anne, stayed with me all night. We have a little party set up in his bedroom. Dana and Vicky came over, Betty Anne is still here, Josh and Liz are here and I am here. We looked at a bunch of old pictures that I had pulled out of him. We all got to laugh and tell stories. Thank you all for holding our arms up for us to be able to "win this battle". We love you. GJ