New Beginnings

I have now been back in the US for just over a month.  I finished my first week of work.  It is amazing to me how events in my life come together to make sense.  You would think that after all this time I would be used to how God makes it all work.  But nope, still in awe!  My job is direct support of families.  I work in the behavioral health field.  I am a mentor for families that have experienced trauma and abuse along with organic issues that cause behavioral issues.  The biggest problem I am having so far is trust.  The agency expects me to leap right in (understandably...since I am getting paid for this) but the families don't know me or trust me.  So I feel like I am taking baby steps with them, encouraging them, looking for causes for celebration, and trying to let them know that I do care about them along with intervention.   The agency told me I would hear a lot of swearing and so far they are right.  So my new mantra is a "a soft answer turns away wrath."  I wonder what it would have been like to have a person like me present in my home when my children and I were in the middle of it.  When Jeff was working three part time jobs, I was working one part time job and we had three children six and under.  A person who is paid to be calm and to help you look for alternatives to bad behaviors.  Would I have liked it or would I have resented it?  Not sure...probably both depending on the day.  So I am dancing with these families.  It certainly makes me long for extended families for these folks.  I also have no biological extended family close by.  My faith family makes all of the difference in the world.  But I don't remember sharing with too many people when I was hurting the most. Hmmmm.  Listen  (or read) to the words of Lean on Me.
Lean on me
When you're not strong
I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
for it wont be long
till I'm going to need
somebody to lean on
please swallow your pride
if I have faith that you need to borrow
For no-one can fill
those your needs
that you won't let show
just call on me brother when you need a hand...

Church, let's be that place where the hurting can find help.  Not because we have ALL of the answers but because we are ALL honest with our hurts and suffering, without passing judgement.  We cry together and laugh together.  That is a journey that I want to be on!

April 3, 2012-Whew what a week!

Dear Family and Friends,

April fool's day went off without one trick but the week leading up to it was pretty crazy.  Two Saturdays ago, the laptop of a volunteer was stolen from the house.  It was during the afternoon and I was here alone.  I was working in my room and listening to music.  I now know that a former street boy from a friend's home had come over without permission and the temptation to take the computer was just too much.  As soon as we found out that it was missing I called a friend that works at the home and told him to keep his eyes and ears open.  The next few days were difficult.  I am going through a Bible based study on healing from trauma and abuse with the women of Hope House, and that week was the characteristics of an abuser and of an abusive family.  Very tough stuff.  All of these women have been traumatized and the Ugandan way to deal with it is to pretend it didn't happen.  I am encouraging them to absolutely think out of the box and expose their hurts for God' healing and forgiveness.  But it is very painful for them, and for me.  We cry together, pray together and laugh together as well.  Tuesday I got the word that a boy had come home with a new cell phone and cash in his pocket, and not hiding it.  So the workers and the other boys kept pressuring him to tell the truth.  Wednesday AM he confessed and we all got to work.  I met the uncle(male leader in the home) with a bunch of money.  He took the boy to the place where he originally sold it and then got the police involved to find the next buyer.  In the end, we recovered the computer.  The money...well it oiled the wheels of "justice".  I also paid to keep the boy out of jail.  So why pay to keep this boy out of jail?  He is 15, spent a year living on the streets of Somalia, and has been living on the streets in Kampala for a long time.  No parents, he is in third grade and is learning a whole new way to live.  The prisons here in Uganda would not have helped him in ANY way.  He is a new Christian, a young man who needs loving guidance and  compassion.  Has he stolen before?  I wish I could say no...but that would be a lie.  He has, but he hasn't experienced unconditional love, the feeling of family, and the respect of others and to return respect to them.  Please pray for him.  Thursday I took the computer out to Bombo where the volunteer is staying, only to find him scary sick with chills, fever and headache.  So back to Kampala Friday morning and straight to the clinic.  I thought for sure...malaria.  But no, it is a virus that he has had to just wait out.  On Thursday, a volunteer couple who are adopting a boy were able to bring him home.  He is 19 months old.  Whew!  

For me, I know have a month left here.  I am already grieving the loss of day to day friendships I have made.  But looking forward to the next chapter of my life.  I have been applying for jobs that have anything to do adolescent behavioral issues, foster parenting, adopting and refugee work.  Probably over thirty jobs, but no responses yet. If you know of ANY job openings, I am willing!  Maybe not Starbucks...I can't get up that early...ha!   But anything else, I am willing.  I am excited to transition into working more in Mexico and Phoenix with sex trafficked girls and women.  And some of you don't know that I have been accepted into the masters program of Social Justice and Human Rights at ASU.  I will start taking classes this fall.  I still am planning on staying on with GTN as a missionary.  I will be working to develop leadership training opportunities for women that I can facilitate.  I have already spent some time with ReviveMexico in Mexico City and will return there.  They work with street children and trafficked girls.  Unfortunately, I am sure that there are opportunities to serve in my own backyard.  For those of you that support me financially, you are under no obligation to continue since my focus has changed from Uganda, Africa to Latin America and Latinos in the US.  If you do desire to travel down this path with me, I would be honored.  But if you want to continue to see your donations make a difference in the life of Ugandans I can recommend a number of ways to do that including supporting the group I have been working with.  It is entirely between you and the Lord. I will be back in Phoenix late the night of May 6.  So I will see my church family on  Mother's Day and the rest of family and friends as soon as I possibly can.  

trip home cancelled from VOLCANO

Well, I am certainly glad I bought travel insurance. The volcano in Iceland has spread ash all over Europe and British Airways is not flying and the rumor is two weeks to clear the ash. S I will be re booking probably with Emirates Airlines and going to Dubai. At least my clothing is pretty modest. But I may have a number of weird stops. I went to church today with Abby and Moreen. It was good but I really miss Bob's preaching. So like I tell of the volunteers, "flexibility is the name of the game in ministry." So I am getting a big spoonful of my own advice. I went to the market today and bought some videos for my trip. We also bought some new videos for the boys. They got August Rush, The Blind Side, Hachiko, and some animated videos. They love August Rush and she got a translated one for them. If you think about it it is sort of an Oliver twist type story. They can relate to a boy searching for his parents. The DVDs cost a dollar and most are current. They are legal videos here in Uganda, but I wonder about the US. Actually I am PRETTY sure they are copies. Especially since I saw the guy copying them, ha!
Yesterday we took the boys from the street to a big soccer field. The game was boys vs staff. they really had fun. One of the boys found a tiny little kitten and wanted to give it to me. My heart just melted. The street boys gave Abby a kitten and she named her Aslan, like the lion out of The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe. The kids have led such a violent life, she encourages them to be not only be kind to each other but also animals. Both houses have dogs. The house here in the slum has the sweetest dog. Spoiled rotten and he loves the boys.
I can't wait to see you but I don't know when that will be.

September 13, 2009 Early Morning

Today is Sunday Sept. 13. Jeff is unconscious, barely breathing and has a rapid but weak heartbeat. This morning he opened one of his eyes a couple of times and we were all able to tell him that we love him. His hands are blue and his pallor is grey. My next post will be to shout that he is healed and in the arms of our Savior. He is surrounded by friends and family. Betty Anne, stayed with me all night. We have a little party set up in his bedroom. Dana and Vicky came over, Betty Anne is still here, Josh and Liz are here and I am here. We looked at a bunch of old pictures that I had pulled out of him. We all got to laugh and tell stories. Thank you all for holding our arms up for us to be able to "win this battle". We love you. GJ

September 11, 2009

September 11. Jeff's sister arrived today. We are so glad to see her. Things here have been rough. Jeff has been very difficult to move, and almost impossible to understand. And the worst part is that he is now experiencing pain. In his back and in his neck and sort of anywhere when he lays down. I have started giving him dilaudid, a strong pain med. We have it in drop form so I give it to him under his tongue. I also took an objective look at him. He has lost 40-50 pounds. He was so miserable with the weight he gained from all of the steroids. So to me he looks good now, but this is not a good weight loss. He is hardly eating. The hospice nurse came today and inserted a catheter. I hope it makes him a lot more comfortable. He will be bed bound as long as there is only one person at home because he is so hard to get into his wheel chair. His muscles just aren't responding. His breathing is irregular and shallow. Our time together when we are alone is so sweet. He asked me tonight is I was OK and I told him no, I asked him the same question and he told me yes. That helped me a lot. I asked the hospice nurse, how long do other patients in his situation live? Just a shadowy way of asking how long for Jeff. She said she didn't think he would last long. I hope the Lord takes him very soon. He is tired,and ready and even though I am not ready...it isn't about me. I am listening to the book Heaven by Randy Alcorn, on CD. I haven't gotten very far, but it is good. I am honestly pretty depressed tonight. I miss my mother. She died nine years ago this December. I have no brothers and sisters and I will soon be a widow. I am so glad that I have so many good friends. My church family and circle of friends have loved me more than any "natural" sibling could. Thank you God, for them! Thank you also for my kids, their spouses and my grandbaby. Thank you, Thank you. Thank you for 30 years with Jeff. Take him home safely and soon Lord. You love him more than I do, and I can barely stand to see him suffer any more. In Jesus name-Amen!